Why I've been gone

the past few weeks I've been grieving, my grandmother passed away nov 13th. She had cancer and was diagnosed with it last Dec. So she made it almost a yr even though the doctors said she wasn't going to make it after so many months but she did. I was at college in Iowa when I got the call that she probably won't make it in the next few days. So I hoped in the car and drove 20 hours to New Mexico. Where I made it just in time to say I love you grandma. When I saw her it wasn't the grandma I knew. I had some hope that she would get better. But from the looks of it I knew this was it. But I thought she would have a few days left in her. But she passed away the same day I got there. I had prayed that she would still be here when I got there just so I can tell her that I loved her. I am still in shock. It feels like she is just gone on vacation and she'll come walking in the door anytime soon. I cried that night she passed but I haven't cried since. I think when the funeral comes I'll probably break down and cry. I never had anybody this close die so this all feels too unreal. I just wish she made it to my graduation in May. It seems selfish to say that because she isn't in pain anymore. but i just wanted to see that proud look on her face knowing that her granddaughter is the first in the family to graduate from college, but I know she was proud of me she always told me so. On the other hand my grandfather is not doing well. They been together for 52 yrs. And I'm afraid he will not make it either due to heartbreak, But I will keep praying for him